I Asked Santa for Opened Windows

Well the lights are still glowing in our house.....our decorations don't come down for another week or so.  We just love them up, so we wait as long as we can to take them down.  :D  We had an AMAZING Christmas this year!!!!  I can't express into words how connected I felt with my Family this year.  It was wonderful and I know the kids enjoyed every minute of it.  Even Kaden seemed more into the whole spending time with the Family idea. 
One thing we all realized is his complete lack of interest in "toys".  I know I should be thrilled....less to buy and less to clean up after.  But, a piece of me has always felt sad that he doesn't enjoy things typical 5 year old boys do.  Skylar would have Loved all the car tracks, legos and action figures that Kaden has.  We were unable to buy them for him when he was young.  Maybe that is a part of what makes me feel so sad about it all. 

I recently asked myself what it is that I'm really upset about.  Why does it bother me?????  Simply enough it's just the fact that I feel like I don't know how to get into his world.  Skylar and I could play cars or build lego cities for hours.  We could color together or play a board game with no melt downs.  I could relate to him in many ways.  If I felt like we weren't connected I could take him to the park or movie and get right back on track.  But, with Kaden I can't do that.  He shows little affection or even little acknowledgement to us most days and the messed up thing is I can't even bribe him with toys, outings, candy or anything for that matter.
If none of that "typical" crap is going to work, how the heck am I going to get into his world?  He wont let me in and I feel so out of place with him.  Mahala and Skylar I have a place, I know where I fit in.  I feel so selfish even writing this out and that sucks, but I'm just getting it all off my chest. 

So, this Christmas I didn't buy him "typical" toys that I saw in ads and magazines for his age group.  Instead I thought about the things that Kaden enjoys and needs sensory wise.  I bought strategy type board games, anything that lights up or makes repetitive sounds, science kits, anything glow in the dark or had to do with the planets and stars.  I had a different frame of mind this year.  I always think back to when I was Mahala's age and the things I liked when I shop for her and it works out, most of the time.  But, with Kaden I have to shift my thoughts a bit. 
It may seem ridiculous, but several times since Kaden's diagnosis I have went through many times of grieving.  I don't know how else to put it.  I mean I know I have my children and I'm very thankful and feel blessed.  But, just like when I was diagnosed with Lupus, I went through these periods of oh my goodness I will never be able to do this again or feeling the loss of certain abilities I once had.  So, I have had these moments several times about Kaden and his Autism.
I'm trying to shift my thought process now and trying to look at all the opened windows that are there for him even if there are doors that are shut now.  Every day I realize more and more the challenges ahead for him will work out just fine, I just have to change my way of thinking and expectations.  I have to use that window and not let the closed door seem like such a bad thing all the time.

It's Just Tradition

Has is really been this long?  I am amazed and words can't express right now how odd it is that I haven't even thought to write anything down.  Christmas time around here is a whirl wind.  But, in a good way.  A total good way, I love this time of the year,  Because while some people may get overwhelmed or feel like both ends of their candle is melting away.  I squeal in delight each day going from one tradition to the next.   We have Christmas down to a science, for lack of a better word.

And even though we tend to do the same things over and over, year after year.  There is this feel of comfort and newness.  Like we make ornaments every single year, but each year the ornaments change, the ideas evolve on how to make them and who they are being made for. 


 One of our traditions each year is to make a Christmas chain to count down the days till the BIG DAY!  And every link has a craft or family activity to do.  It can be as simple as taking a walk together before dinner or a game night.  One of the kid's favorites is sleeping under the tree.  They love that and they love making the ornaments and kids get to cook night!!  Hey, I like that one too!!!!  This year we also did a dessert for breakfast day.  Nobody complained that morning!  HAHAHA

 We decorated pin-cones this year, which was something that we had not done in a few years.  So, it was nice to add something new.  Skylar made the Rudolf pine-cone!

 And of course we do gingerbread house each year.  And every year they come up with new designs and challenge to put upon each other.  The time we spend as a family together, working and playing I feel is the glue that bonds us together.  And the Holidays is a perfect time to set the tone for the beginning of the new year to come.
Even though the baking, wrapping, decorating and craft planning is a lot to do.  If you go into without the expectation of perfection you will appreciate what a gift the Holidays can be to your Family.  Yes, I love things to be done right and the ornaments hung just so.  But, I would rather see a tree with no ornaments on it's left side in order to hear the laughter of my kids reminiscing over their homemade ornaments any day!!!
It makes my Life worth it!

Let the Holidays Begin!

Once again the Holidays are among us.  I'm excited because Kaden seems more aware of whats going on.  Halloween he was all for getting tons of candy and having a reason to walk around looking like Mario with his big Sister sporting a Luigi costume just to make her brother happy.  Even though I secretly think she wanted to wear it anyway.  HAHAHA

And Thanksgiving kind of came and went with nothing too exciting to share.  I cooked, they ate, we passed out until the next day and then I shopped until I passed out again!  HAHAHAHA  Kaden was very particular on what he would eat or even taste for that matter.  And I was fine with that.  I usually have him take at least one bite of everything unless it's something totally different.  Like I wouldn't make him eat sushi if he was dead set against it.  Believe it or not, he loves sushi but wont give tomatoes a try.  :)  So, basically he ate mac and cheese, some turkey and enough rolls to build a road to heaven.  :)

Now we are decorating for Christmas and this is our Families Favorite Holiday of the year!  We love to decorate, back cookies and cakes, make homemade cards, build gingerbread houses, put together puzzles, sip hot chocolate and curl up to watch Christmas movies.
Normally since Kaden has been old enough to know whats going on he has stayed in the background.  Hanging out in his room or just not participating.  This year I have a feeling he is going to be a tad more involved!!!  So far he helped with the tree.....on his terms.  He said he wanted to organize the branches by size and color.  And he wanted to put up the ornaments, that was it.  So sure enough after the branches were sorted out he ran up the stairs to his room and played.  When it was time for the ornaments he came down and was the biggest help ever!

All the homemade garland for the room and strands of popcorn and cranberries he wants no part of.  And I am ok with that.  I'm so proud of him and how he has grown, adapted to whats going on around him.  That was one of the things that I found difficult, him not being able to relate and participate with the world around him.  Even if he just picks one or two things to do with the family everyday I am thrilled.  Progress people, it's a Beautiful thing!

Schedule Happy!

  We started a new schedule around here for each of the kids.  Mahala's is in the form of a softball diamond with her things to do at each of the bases.  Skylar's is just a generic list since he mostly knows what to do, he just needs a reminder here and there.  Kaden's schedule was thought up by me and put together by his ABA therapist.  She nicely laminated it and it has the Velcro that I asked for.  The one thing I didn't remember to say to her was to use some color.  Being the OCD and controlling person that I am, it has taken all I have to not redo it.  I am so grateful and thankful, please don't get me wrong.  And I would never say anything, but It might accidentally get coffee spilled all over it or just go missing all together.
His schedule has proven to be both helpful and a Huge pain in my caboose!  I like to be able to map out my day and allow him some security.  He thrives off of knowing the whole days plan.  He is not as anxious and seems to enjoy the day more.  But, life changes....a game may be longer to play, dinner takes longer because I didn't thaw the meat.....damn me!  I do this all the time!  All the time!!
So, when life hits and it takes longer or shorter to do something and the schedule gets a little off, Kaden goes crazzzzzzzy! 

I love the Velcro and clear labels so I can add things and then wipe it clean.

I have been gathering a few extras in a bag....games, books, clay to help if it's a short wait.  But, the Major problem is when he can't do something because there is no time left.  Like last night he didn't go to sleep until 11pm, because we had to finish the schedule.  I definitely need to work the bugs out because he does really well when it works.  Thursday I will be meeting with the whole ABA team, so hopefully we can work it out with some guidelines for when the schedule doesn't work out like planed. 
Off to make some lunch!

When he completes something on his schedule he pulls it off and sticks in on the back.

Got Kind Words?

My sweet Kaden is such a neat little guy. And those that know him well know that he is the most straight forward, no nonsense kid and his emotions are limited to say the least. I have been struggling with that for a few years now. Because it is hurtful to not get hugs when wanted or to have your child ask u to leave his room because it's his "alone" time. He's very rigid and demanding of himself, he really could care less to ever interact with others unless he absolutely had to. So, this is hard for me.

This morning Kaden comes to the table and sits down like hes expecting a response from me. I was like hey!!! He looks at me.....crickets, crickets!!! So, Kaden do you want to hang out, maybe play a game? He says, I guess we can, but only because there is nothing better to do right now. Now, a typical child I would think of it as rude and my child would probably get punished for saying that or at least talked to. But, Kaden said it so dry and monotone, not in a rude, ugly way. He couldn't tell it even bothered me.

So, I did say to him that he should reword his sentence to be more kind towards others feelings. I gave a few softer approaches that he could have used. He responded back to me that there in no need to use useless flatter on people in your family. But if I need that then he would try harder....so would you like to play monopoly now?
That's my Kaden, how I love him sooooo much! :)

Got Nothing But Time on My Hands

 Time flys when you're having fun!!!  Or should I say time flys when you spend half your day in a car.  HAHAHAHA  Actually the day can go very slowly when you have to sit around and wait for therapy to be over or for one of the kids to be done with one of their million must do or die things.  I swear, it seems like I have a full time job as a taxi driver.  Minus the cool, bright yellow car.  I'm stuck with a blue van filled with half eaten Mc Nasty meals, game pieces, puzzle pieces, clothes, towels, sports equipment, books and did I mention game pieces.  I'm telling you I don't know how we can actually play any of the thousands of games we have in our house. 

 So, I had to share just a few of the tons of photos I have of Kaden in the back seat of the van.  I know it might seem a bit odd to have s-e-v-e-r-a-l photos of your kid either strapped into his car seat, dangling off the front seat or snacking on food. 
What do you do to past the time while you wait for your kiddos?

Halloween fun with Kaden

 The other day after Kaden's ABA therapy we decided to have a little Halloween Fun!  Usually after therapy he needs an hour or so to himself.  He will normally go to his room and organize his cars or count play money.  If it's a "computer" day I will let him play star craft, his new favorite game in the whole world.
So, after his down time he put together a Halloween tree.  I was impressed with how well he took the sticky backs off and placed them on the tree.  He has a hard time with little things like that.

 Finished product....spooky tree and happy kid!

Then we decided to play Halloween Bingo.  Both of these things I bought at the Target $1 section.  I heart their $1 bins!!!!!

New Autism Film....

 Just wanted to share!!!!

gut-ter-snipe (n): a homeless vagabond and especially an outcast boy or girl in the streets of a city
Guttersnipes is a story about Jo, a 17 year old homeless girl who finds Waverly, an abandoned autistic kid in an alley. Now Jo must decide if she will turn the girl over to the hellish state home, find her a new home... or just keep her, and make a "home" with her on the streets.
Read more at www.guttersnipesfilm.com

 http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/69061341/guttersnipes-feature-film-set-in-arkansas-0

A note from the writer
"The day I learned we were having a girl, my imagination took flight. I tried to envision the woman my daughter would become -- her high school years, college graduation... even my own grandchildren.
But when she was three, our family was hit with a new reality. Lexi was diagnosed autistic. She was still my girl... but it slowly dawned on me, she would never become the woman I had imagined.
Years after the diagnosis, my biggest fear remained -- WHAT will happen to my daughter when I'm not around?
From this jumbled mess of thoughts, hopes, dreams, tears, and imagination I created GUTTERSNIPES."
Our goal
Our goal is to enlighten and move people in a profound way. There is still too much ignorance about autism. However, through exposure comes understanding. Through understanding, comes compassion. We want to put something beautiful in the world that will uplift everyone who sees it.

Note to You from Me with Love!!!!

So, I have meet some pretty amazing people on FB, my blog and on myAutisumteam.com over the past few months. In the early morning hours last night when I was at my wits end with tooth picks in my eyes trying to get Kaden to relax and let go to dream land, I wanted to cry and just give up. But, for the first time I laid there and prayed for all the other Moms and Dads out there. I prayed they were having restful sleeps and I knew that there was probably at least one of you awake doing the same for me. I felt more peacful in that moment and I took the tooth picks out of my eyes and covered Kaden tightly and listened to the sound of him rubbing the nylon seams on that Ikea leaf and humming his little heart out. I do need this support....thank you all.....(((hugs)))
 http://www.facebook.com/KadensAspergerWorld

Pumpkins with Kaden

 We went to the Pumpkin patch at the farm like we do every year.  But, this year, I swear the pumpkins shrunk on us.  It was amazing to watch daily, even the stems.   So, we decided since they were a bit on the small side we would just decorate them and "maybe" carve one before Halloween if we get around to it.  I use the word "maybe" very loosely.

 The kids like ANY excuse to grab the paint, especially Kaden.  That, glue and glitter are among the favorites around here.  So, nobody was disappointed in the no carving just paint and slather project.

 I thought Kaden was going to do a simple little face on his.  This is the first year he has actually enjoyed getting his costume and decorating a little with crafts and pictures.  So, I figured he would play it safe and do what was needed and be done.

 I was wrong about that one.  He was so into picking his colors and making designs all over it.  He decided to do two faces and called them crazy, faced ninja heads! 

 Within minutes he turned it into a masterpiece of swirls and drips.  Who knows he may be a famous pumpkin painter in the future, but I wont hold my breath.  :)

 Mahala is my precise child.  She takes her time and plans out every detail before she even gets out her supplies.  Unlike my oldest and I that just grabs paint and starts painting before we eve know what the project is.  Being mental helps make that all possible.;)

Mahala called her pumpkin, Mr. Crazy Peanut.  Everyone's crazy in our house, even the pumpkins.   Poor pumpkins......