Kaden's Loud Life of Silence

Playing a game on the tablet

I ask myself all the time if Kaden feels lonely, but just doesn't know how to describe it to us.  In my mind I wouldn't want to spend hours of solitude up in my room while the rest of my family is downstairs having dinner, watching a movie or just hanging out.
It's not uncommon to find him in his room playing monopoly by himself or reading a book under the table or in a corner.  (We are working on that by the way in ABA therapy)
There are many faces of Autism, it's not a one size fits all kind of deal.  Kind of like autoimmune diseases, which I have one....evilly called Lupus.  Kaden's brain is wired so that noises and certain smells or touches can cause him to be frightened even hurt him.  He also processes sensory different in a way that he is constantly rubbing his hair or blankets, people sometimes.  He constantly smells people or objects when something changes, like our plans, a show ends or didn't record right.  Maybe he didn't understand something or is confused at what is being asked of him.  If he gets overly upset then he can have a hard time with repetitive behaviors, screaming, hitting and just not being able to move forward.  Meltdowns can be atomic with Kaden if they last too long.  So, our job as the family goes is to put the fire out as soon as a spark is seen.  ;)
Socially he doesn't want to be around people, doesn't want to go new places or try new things at all.  That even includes his family sometimes.  Making friends or just communicating can be hard, because he talks off topic, makes little eye contact and prefers to only talk about things he is interested in.  And usually that's not what they want to talk about.  If a friend does seem to break into his friendship circle with himself they get turned off by the lack of personal space Kaden allows and I haven't meet a kid yet that likes to be sniffed and have their hair all messed up by Kaden's little hands.  HAHAHAHA

Playing Legos

Part of his communication gap is his lack of being relaxed and going with the flow.  He takes everything literal and has no problem correcting you if he thinks your wrong.  :)  Adults love this, especially if they really are wrong.  He's very ridged and has his own schedule that can't be broken.
He's not coordinated and runs or falls everywhere and on everything.  I worry when we go out because he flutters like a butterfly.  I worry I will lose him, because he goes here, tumbles there, jumps onto that, scoots there.....you get the picture.
Now on a good note, there are many Autism aspects of Kaden that cause him to be brilliant.  He started reading when he was 2yrs old.  I taught him letters, but he taught himself to read.  He started organizing objects and grouping things together as soon as he could sit up on his own.  He hasn't stopped since.  He had a broad vocabulary at a young age, he hates phonics but loves to learn new words.  He started adding and subtracting at 3yrs old.  He begged to learn more, so when he was almost 5yrs old I showed him multiplication.  He is 5yrs old now and can multiply, divide, complete 4 to 5 step equations..  He wants to learn fractions and decimals now and I'm trying to hold him off, because he is so young.

Organizing the Blokus pieces

So, academically he is above his typical peers.  But, in many ways he is not your average, typical boy.  I hear his silence, if that makes any sense at all.  I feel bad for him, because he is so precious and even though he is verbal he chooses to be silent.  He chooses solitude over time with family or friends.  I guess today was just an emotional day for me.  Even though we were very busy today around the house he was nowhere to be found.  or quietly sitting on the couch counting beads.  I've asked for hugs even tried to bribe with chocolate chip cookies.  All I got was a smile.  But, I am thankful for that smile.  I love that smile!!!!!  I hope he wears that smile for a long time.  And his family will be right there beside him with a Big HUG whenever he wants one!!